We expect ourselves to do all the things our moms did and more. Is your to do list never-ending? There is a reason moms today feel worn out and stressed out. We can only do so much!
We expect so much from ourselves because we want the best for our families. And it is true, our time matters. We have so much influence.
One of the most comforting thoughts from my childhood was the feeling of coming home. Home felt different than the rest of the world. Natural light poured in through the windows because the curtains and blinds were always open during the day. Or maybe that is just how I remember it, but either way, that is what it felt like. Our home smelled like the foods my family ate. Things were in order. There were routines and consistency. My mom keeps a much cleaner and more organized home than me, but cleanliness and organization did not make our home stuffy and unpleasant. Our home felt inviting and calm. When I walked into our home, the messy chaos of the real world felt far away and I could breathe deeply.
That feeling of coming home, and the memory of what that meant to me growing up, drives me to create a home where my family feels safe and loved. I want our home to be the safe haven for my children. I don’t do it the same way my mom did, but I’ve found my way.
But, today I’m not going to tell you about all the things I do. In honor of this season of celebrating mother’s everywhere, I’m going to tell you what I don’t do (or do because I don’t do):
- I don’t coupon.
- I say no a lot.
- Most of our dinners are not Pinterest-worthy.
- I accept the help of my husband and children.
- We rarely repair anything ourselves.
- I cross things off my to do list that just don’t need to be done, even if they felt important at one time.
- I hire help when my list gets too long to do myself.
And I’m happy. Really happy. I go to bed at night looking forward to the day ahead, which is such a different feeling than when I was frazzled and overwhelmed by thinking of what was coming next.
So my unsolicited advice to mother’s everywhere is this: know and remember that your time matters. What you choose to do can forever bless the lives of your family. But you can not choose to do everything. Do not be afraid of help. Do not be afraid of having your own dream. Do not be afraid of making different choices than everyone around you. Please, just do what you need to do.
You are the mother meant for your children.
Thank you, Mom, for being the mom I needed. And thanks for letting me vent about all the crazy expectations I feel. Thanks for listening to the boring stories about my children and sincerely being interested. Thanks for validating me when I feel overwhelmed. Thanks for taking me to the dentist, and I really am truly sorry for every cavity.
So … I’d love to hear your list. What do you do or not do to stay in your happy place as a mom?
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